“The Unspeakable Gift” By Rayola Kelley

Have you ever heard the story behind the song? “The Love of God?” In 1917, a man by the name of Frederick M. Lehman who was a pastor and businessman wrote this song. As a pastor he oversaw a poor flock, and as a business man he had lost everything and was close to financial ruin. However, he was so moved by a sermon about the love of God, that as he was on his way to work at a packing house, the song began to form in his mind that focused on the theme of God’s incredible love. The first stanza clearly sets the tone, “The love of God is greater far Than tongue or pen can ever tell; It goes beyond the highest star And reaches to the lowest hell. The guilty pair, bowed down with care, God gave His Son to win; His erring child He reconciled And pardoned from his sin. Refrain: O love of God, how rich and pure! How measureless and strong! It shall forevermore endure, The saints’ and angels’ song.”

He found the inspiration for two stanzas which included the refrain, but felt it was not completed until he discovered the writing of a Jewish poet that lived around 1050 A.D who wrote a poem. This poet’s poetic stanza had somehow made it across the ocean to America and had been written on some prison wall 200 years previously before it found its way to Lehman, probably by some poor soul seeking inspiration or consolation. Before painting over the words on the prison’s wall, one of the painters wrote the words down and eventually it came to the attention of Lehman who realized he finally found the third stanza that would complete his song. “Is there any better summary of the love of God? When years of time shall pass away And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall, When men, who here refuse to pray, On rocks and hills and mountains call; God’s love so sure shall still endure, All measureless and strong. Redeeming grace to Adam’s race, The saints’ and angels’ song.”

Who would have thought that the words of a Jewish poet would survive a thousand years to become part of a song in the 20th century that would become a treasured classic Gospel Song? It is clear that God’s hand was in all of it. Throughout his career, Lehman would go on to write many more hymns and sacred songs, ever giving himself to the inspirational expression of God’s love. In 1911, he helped found the Nazarene Publishing House in Kansas City, which is still in operation as The Foundry Publishing. While serving as pastor, he maintained an entrepreneurial spirit, and continued to work as a businessman. The rest is history. (Note: Much of this information came from the internet.)

This song came to me as I thought about the love of God. God is love and He can’t do anything outside of that love without ceasing to be who He is (1 John 3:1; 4:8). His love is pure, true, good, and holy. It is not unconditional as some would have us think; rather, it has been made available to whosoever will come by way of the cross of redemption to receive love’s great sacrifice by faith, experience its depths of grace, and know its unlimited abiding power in their life in order that they begin to understand God’s love. After all God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son so that we could know the way to salvation (John 3:16), and that very love is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). However, the indescribable love of God has been hijacked by the world. The result is there is a mishmash of unrealistic notions, unobtainable standards, and a self-serving slant on it that implies many are having a love affair with their idea of love while failing to possess it for themselves.

This brings us to the secular presentation of the world’s “so-called” love. It is where a mythical cupid, who was actually a Roman god, is supposed to shoot his arrows so romance takes the forefront whether it is a night out or some quiet dinner. There will be gifts of cards, flowers along with chocolates being highlighted as prized tokens for those you love. It can prove to put much money in certain coffers, stir up a bit of sentiment and end in some proposals. Now for just a second, stop and compare the presentation of God’s love in the song to the love being promoted by the world. Which would you choose? Sadly, many would choose the world’s love because of the feelings, not the awe, it leaves them with. Feelings that often take a person captive, pushing them into an almost obsessive state. They must be around that person, know that person, experience that person, become lost in some identity with that person.

I have no problem with celebrating the concept of love, but sadly, as you can see, the love that is being exalted by many in both the world and the church can’t even begin to reach the lowest bar when it comes to the quality of God’s love (Romans 8:35-39). Much of the world’s love is nothing more than lust that comes out of sentiment or passion that rages for a short time but is cooled when the fanciful notions are torn away and reality sets in. Of course, the fanciful notions are perceived through rose-colored glasses that only want to see the image created by childish fantasy, hear certain words to placate inner wishes, and swoon at the thought of the deepest desire of the heart to find that one person who will serve as their soul-mate and bring forth the ecstasy that many have imagined.

If you ask me what is the one thing that many in America, some which I consider to be, for the most part, reasonable and sane, lose their senses, their discernment and sometimes their mind, is when it comes to the subject of love. Don’t get me wrong, I grew up in the age of Cinderella. In my youth the concept of Prince Charming riding up on a white horse to take me into some magical kingdom, where we would live happily ever after, was very much a part of my immature notions. As I got a bit order, I realized that Prince Charming was not looking for some princess to spend his life with but to have a bit of fun with. When I hit adulthood, I encountered the struggle and tension that often exists between men and women over the kind of relationship they wanted or were willing to have, often based on unrealistic expectations. Many are looking to feed a bit of vanity here, stoking some ego there, and hanging onto the side of that someone special to give them a sense of fitting in or belonging.

What I discover is most people do not know what it means to have a relationship that has any real depth to it. Their minds have been either filled with fantasy or filth. They either strive for some feeling or passion that wanes with reality. Past the tensions, expectations, and foolish notions and ideas is the reality that many are not ready for any real serious relationship and yet they desire it. They want a sense that they belong, that there is someone who will share their life with them and be a faithful companion, and to somehow create their own special utopia together.

The reality of many when it comes to the secular notions of love is that they see it as a means to be worshipped. Whether it is the adoration of being treated as a delicate princess or the complex of being some savior, provider and protector who earns the right to be served, it ultimately ends in a power struggle and disillusionment.

It took some hard knocks and disillusionment to realize any worthwhile relationship takes commitment, work, and sacrifice. Great relationships don’t just happen, and in our instant society many think the relationship is all about them, and that the image they have erected for their mate is realistic.

I have discovered there are four types of relationships between couples that exist. There are those which would be considered an “excellent” relationship. This type of relationship is forged by that which is heavenly. This relationship entails a strong commitment of love towards the other. They may be the best of friends that share everything, have learned to complement the other in both their weaknesses and strengths, and come to a place where they truly enjoy each other. They have learned to laugh and cry together, face the storms while being pillars that hold each other up as they stand on and lean against the Rock of ages. They trust in their motives towards each other, confident that they have the other’s best in mind: their intentions are to do right by the other, and their judgments consider the other person before themselves.

The next type of relationship is the one I consider as the “good” relationship that exists because the couple have learned to rightfully respect and honor each other in the proper way. Keep in mind, there is a moral aspect behind all that is godly which includes love and respect. True honor is to prefer someone over self, even if it entails sacrifice (Romans 12:9-10;13:8-10).

Respect is earned when a person proves trustworthy, but the problem is that when we have an image, standards, or notions about how a person should be in certain roles or relationships, character ceases to be the test. These notions rarely are concerned about character and end up setting both the relationship and those who are involved with it up for failure. If we are honest about the state of humanity, these images and notions are not realistic in the first place. They require a person to line up to a mere idea while the person who holds to them are divorced from the reality that such images are their idea of perfection which serves their notions and has no real regards for who their mate really is.

This brings us to the subject of what happens when people can’t live up to our notions. We perceive we can’t trust them which can lead to a variety of feelings that entail hurt, betrayal, and anger. Oftentimes, without trust, we feel we can “take the gloves off” and show some type of disdain, disregard, or disrespect towards them that can end in conflict. Regardless of whether a person has earned our respect, as Christians, we still must give respect which basically leaves a person’s dignity intact. This means I accept the person the way they are and will not wait for them to line up before I give them proper consideration.

It is true the matter of trust determines how much I can let someone in as to my feelings, convictions, and thoughts, but giving respect means I do not demean that person by making them insignificant, small, and unworthy of any real proper consideration. I still have a responsibility towards them to do right. Such a practice is summarized in the command to love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:29-31).

The next type of relationship is the tolerable relationship. This is where two people learn to live amicably under the same roof. They are more like friends than a married couple. They may do things together, but in reality, they are not emotionally or spiritually connected as one. Whether they are together for show or some other reason, they are the only ones who could properly answer that question.

In the tolerable environment, it is easy to watch couples fall away from each other. It could be because of unresolved issues in the relationship, demands from the world, or other numerous interferences that occur that throws their bow off course and causes them to lose sight of the other one in the process. The other night I was watching such a couple interact and one asked the question, “When did we cease to kiss each other good night?” It became obvious they had become strange to each other.

The final type of relationship is the nominal relationship. The couples who fall into this category are those who get by because they know nothing else. There is a cold silence between them that at best ignores what is missing, or there are feelings of utter hopelessness and entrapment as they accept the great drudgery of their relationship which is an unbearable yoke or bitter cross they must carry. For the most part this type of marriage is on life-support and will remain so until one of them can’t bear it any longer and walks away, or the claws of death takes one.

This begs the question as to how God regards such a relationship. The marriage relationship is to serve as an example of Christ’s relationship to the church (Ephesians 5:21-33). In watching married couples, I would say there are a few excellent relationships and the number of “good” relationships are not all that many and that a fair percentage of them fall in the last two categories.

The truth is the sustaining love of God is missing. Whether it was never there, or that it was outshone by the world’s presentation of the image of love and the disappointment of it falling short of expectation, or there is a constant lamentation and vexation of spirit because it will never be, the godly presentation has been buried under the fleshly, the worldly, and the absurd.

The sad reality is that these four relationships can represent our relationship with God. An excellent relationship with God involves consecration and sweet communion, a good relationship with God comes out of true worship and obedience, a tolerable relationship often exists because it becomes about religion with its theology, doctrines, and activities, but it proves unsatisfying and unfulfilling to the soul. The nominal relationship is God being tacked on to a carnal life because faith has become disappointing, obedience a terrible duty, and the commitment of other believers a point of mockery.

Again, we can leave our first love and become idolatrous, lifeless, unbelieving, and lukewarm towards God’s love like the different churches in Revelation 2-3. Jesus’ challenge to each church that fell below the bar of their calling was that He was knocking on the door of their hearts in Revelation 3:20, but in the end, the test of their real love and commitment will remain standing to bring a great indictment to those who refuse to come to Jesus in desperation, in repentance and brokenness, and in need by way of His cross to truly experience the abiding, sustaining, eternal love of God.

Let us consider the second stanza of Lehman’s song, the Love of God, “When mortal time shall pass away, And earthly thrones and kingdoms fall; When men who here refuse to pray, On rocks and hills and mountains call; God’s love, so sure, shall still endure, All measureless and strong; Redeeming grace to Adam’s race—The saints’ and angels’ song.”

God’s love is indescribable, incredible and the unspeakable gift of grace found in Jesus. The question is, is God’s love the song of your heart or does the reality of it simply sound “nice,” but it remains far from you and lifeless?