DOWN DEEP By Jeannette Haley

O LORD, how great are thy works!
And thy thoughts are very deep.” – Psalm 92:5

Most likely you’ve heard the cute story of the little boy whose Papa repeatedly told him to sit down, which he did but then said, “I’m sitting down on the outside, but I’m standing up on the inside.” This is often used as an illustration of how we Christians can give an outward appearance of obedience to the Lord but still be in rebellion internally. Although we may try to ignore it, the truth is God knows the thoughts and intentions of our hearts. Psalm 44:20-21 says, “If we have forgotten the name of our God, or stretched out our hands to a strange god; Shall not God search this out? For he knoweth the secrets of the heart.”

There was a time in my life, and perhaps in yours too, when the idea of a “strange god” wouldn’t grab my attention because, after all, I was born and raised in Seattle, Washington, which made me a proud American. I loved Sunday school, the old hymns, and the Bible, so in my sheltered life the idea of “any other gods” never entered my mind, especially in America. Innocence can be a beautiful thing, but it also can be easily stained, stolen, defiled and shattered by sin and ignorance which each of us comes face to face with sooner or later. The problem is, like Adam who hid among the trees of the garden from the presence of God, when we (Christians) give in to temptation because of a deep-seated character flaw in our own heart, that is when, if we do not quickly repent and seek forgiveness, we will justify ourselves “deep down” in the recesses of our minds. By so doing we have automatically chosen to serve “another god” and this other god whom we so easily choose to serve is our-self. It is impossible to please God and the god of self at the same time. Jesus said, “No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon” Matthew 6:2a.

Having made a conscious decision to justify ourselves, we can go on claiming to be a pious Christian on the outside while deep down living to please the “god of self” even though the result is a state of conflict, turmoil, confusion and discontent for as James wrote “A double minded man is unstable in all his ways” James 1:8; and verse 22 tells us, “But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.” Self-deception is the result of thinking and living “on the surface” to just get by while giving the impression of good intentions and offering lip service that makes one appear sincere while “deep down” there is no genuine desire to be a “doer” of what God says. Even though others may glibly think such a person is an upright Christian from outward appearances, God knows their unspoken inner thoughts, ways and works. Jeremiah 17:9-10 tells us, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? I the LORD search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.”

Most of us are familiar with such questions as “What’s in your heart,” “How do you feel deep down,” “What are you really thinking,” or “What’s in the ‘back of your mind’”? After all, it is no secret that people’s conscious thoughts and communications are continuously flowing like never-ending traffic on a freeway. We all know that despite the congenial trivia and platonic communications of daily life, deep down there is a powerful undercurrent of beliefs, opinions, strong emotions, desires, ideas, agendas, imaginations and so forth. So, when the question is asked, “What do you really think, believe or feel, it means that bottom line honesty and truth is the desired answer.

Tragically, people often live in conflict with themselves because they’re juggling two opposing realities due to several things such as unbelief, fear, disobedience, rebellion and “the pride of life. Somehow, they manage to get through their surface reality to give a fake face to the world while their inner reality remains hidden; however, God knows their innermost thoughts and secret desires. The problem is, their “deep down” inner self can unexpectedly erupt to the surface in anger if provoked, challenged or reproved. For instance, Doug (not real name) appeared to be agreeable with his wife to open part of their home for use as a house church. It was a very accommodating, comfortable and private space and he played the part of an obliging “Christian” man who wanted to be discipled for leadership. Even though there was a foreboding sense of tension around him, it took some time before his façade cracked, but when it did, he exploded verbally and physically. His “deep down” problem was he had a demon, and even though he had once experienced a very real encounter with the Lord, he refused to give up his demon because, as he flatly stated to us, it gave him power. “Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord’s table, and of the table of devils” 1 Corinthians 10:21. Joshua said “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve…” Joshua 24:15a.

Another example of trying to serve two masters is a man we’ll call Chuck. Chuck is a man with a well-concealed “deep down,” iron-clad determination that few can discern. He comes across as generally quiet, disinterested, low-key and non-threatening, but lurking “deep down” are certain powerful lusts that no professing Christian man should entertain for one second. Nevertheless, instead of denying himself he has convinced himself that what he wants is God’s will for him; therefore, even though carefully concealed, deep-seated anger is present, he figures if he just hangs in there long enough all his wildest fantasies will come true. But the Lord, speaking through James warns, “Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempts he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed” James 1:13-14.

Because of the growing apostasy and counterfeit Christianity in so many post-modern churches of our time, God is calling men and women to serve Him outside the organized church. This is no easy feat, but through prayer and faith small ministries work hard to fulfill the great commission given by our Lord and Savior to make disciples, feed His lambs and work in the harvest. He is faithful to provide and raises up workers of many abilities and talents to help lift the weary arms of these small “pioneer” ministries. This serves as a backdrop to illustrate another example of the struggle that can occur between the flesh and the spirit when there are “mountains” of ideas and good intentions that morph into canyons of disappointment, and rivers of frustration. We’ll call her Violet, and what a joy it was for the Lord’s servants when this incredibly smart and talented Christian woman laid out all she could do, and planned to do, and promised to do to help in so many important aspects of the ministry. Her mind was filled with incredible ideas, but it was soon apparent that underneath, way “deep down” all the vows and promises were like a sailing ship of hope being swept away by the wind of self-interest which quickly sunk beneath waves of unstable emotions only to finally settle into the sands of forgetfulness. Jesus said, “Again, ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Lord thine oaths” Matthew 5:33 “But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation” James 5:12. Deuteronomy 23:21-23 says “When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely requite it of thee; and it would be sin in thee. But if thou shalt forbear to vow, it shall be no sin in thee. That which is gone out of thy lips thou shalt keep and perform; even a freewill-offering, according as thou hast vowed unto the LORD thy God, which thou hast promised with thy mouth.”

The fourth and final example is a young woman we’ll call Joella, who convinced a couple of missionary women, that she felt God calling her to join them in a faith walk. She quit her job, gave up her apartment, said “goodbye” to friends and joined them as they traveled across the country to live in a totally different environment than they were used to. It didn’t take long for Joella to begin manifesting some deeply seated areas of rebellion, confusion, and other unresolved problems. She also had rather reluctantly professed that she was “through with men” and had a “gift for being single.” However, less than a year later when God had resettled them to another mission field several states away, Joella began to unravel. It was an unnerving and challenging situation for the ministry which, in spite of Joella’s inconsistencies, proceeded to carry out God’s call and commission. Eventually, however, Joella confessed that she had lied about being single, and her real “deep down” desire was to find a husband, which she later did. The truth is evident, “How can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Amos 2:3. How can two (or more) walk together, work together, worship together of pray together if there is no righteous “deep down” agreement in the Spirit? “Teach me thy way, O LORD; I will walk in thy truth: unite my heart to fear thy name” Psalm 86:11. “Their heart is divided; now shall they be found faulty” Hosea 10:2a.

Oh! the mind of man, who can know his thoughts? Sometimes when I see pictures of great cities around the world with their massive skyscrapers, sprawling buildings and houses, or videos of hundreds of thousands of people gathering for some cause, my mind fails to comprehend how our Great God and Creator of all knows every single thought of every single human being on this planet every single second. You just can’t wrap your mind around that! Psalm 139:1-4 tells us, “O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me. Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.” [Underlining added.]

Perhaps knowing this may cause some to want to grab their “bug-out bag” and flee to some far-flung place where they think they can hide—kind of like the prophet Jonah, and we all know how that worked out for him. Some people believe they can “escape” and live off grid where nothing, including accountability to God, can reach them. But Jeremiah 23:24 tells us, “Can any hide himself in secret places that I shall not see him? Saith the LORD. Do not I fill heaven and earth? saith the LORD.”

The bottom line is the admonition King David gave to his son, Solomon, applies to us as well, therefore, may these words sink in, down deep: “…know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the LORD searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of the thoughts: but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever.”